so what have i been up to? i’ve made a group on the flyforfame forum called The Artist Alliance – which had preoccupied my ‘internet’ time with the logo contest, and the first ever signature of the week which i had hosted last week. heres the winner for the signature of the week contest:

notice we’ve finally managed to agree on a logo for the artist alliance (upper corner left the letters ‘AA’). the logo was made by the one and only – deformed! it was quite exciting seeing what the whole group came up with as a whole, and despite going off-track (original idea was to make an avatar/userbar) but the outcome was stunning and truly inspirational.

other than that, i’ve been doing over-time, i went nottingham to fully move out of my flat, and bring my bike home. i’ve also joined the gym because i’m just over-stressing and i need adrenaline to keep me sane. i hate my job, i’m going to quit and concentrate on whats coming soon – the summer exams, and next year’s prep.

heres something Chelle made for me, (which i then cleaned up and coloured)  thank you Chelle <3

i sometimes find myself so annoyed with my current job, my current stress of whats to come it brings me down so much to the point of hating what i do. i don’t want to hurt people, i don’t want to feel this way, i don’t want this to constantly shadow me no matter where i go, what i do – its like having a huge weight pulling you down, constantly reminding you of whats to come, whats to be expected, and it keeps you stressed, and anxious with a broken smile. i’m not like this normally, i’m hating where all this stress is giving me, and i’m not enjoying the anxiety from this..

i’m now finding myself worrying about things which i havent worried about before, such as my weight, my friends, even my own family. i feel like i’ve been betrayed by so many people, broken up into little pieces that cannot be refitted again. i feel like i’ve got no one to talk to, all these things that keep bottling up inside, i keep pretending that i’m fine, i keep so many stuff inside… but the thing is.. i’m not fine. i’m not okay with whats going on. i’m not okay with whats to come. i’m not okay at all. this is just making me upset, i’m gonna stop here.

It was all great and remarkable to watch as the eagle ate its meal right from the comfort of my home, then left nothing but a pile of feathers and chipped bones on the grass… that messy eater!!!

Another thing to note was the poor resolution on my camera… I tried to snap this beautiful bird so many times, but Sony cybershot failed every time. The digital zoom fucked up the image, and even my phone camera produced incredibly poor and grainy images despite its high megapixels… my next project would most likely be, to get a Nikon camera for moments like this… this way I can actually Photoshop a nice and crisp photo – this up there is heavily photoshop’d to bring out the details and despecle the damn grainess… time consuming work…

I suppose I can say that I’ve almost finished dad’s project… it’s been a wonderful experience. Here’s a signature I made earlier today:

while i’m at it.. i’ve also cleaned up the form and improved its presentation :3

i went with my lil sis to watch ice age 3 in 3D and omg.. it was AWESOME!! from now on, its 3D all the way, nothing less! i loved it!!!

for me, just by working at the checkouts, those 3-5mins of your time scanning items across from one side to the next for the customers.. people are stereotyping you. this doesn’t have to be a concious action, people do it all the time; its human nature to try to establish a comfortable and familiar environment… meh ok thats enough psychology..

today hasn’t been the most exciting day at all. fridays are terrible to work… hence why i’m trying to write my thoughts down…

now moving on, i’ve stumbled on some more interesting themes for wordpress. in my epic struggle to find the best extensions, the best addons, and figuring out the best way to make it work with my wordpress theme-in-the-making.. its all exhausting work! so far i’ve compiled a collection of themes which i find attractive and have a potential feature for my layout, but i’ve yet to disect and figure out how they work. its all fancy features that look good and all, but they need to be understood if i’m to create/adapt them into my own theme.

a huge error appeared earlier:

Fatal error: Call to undefined function add_filter() in /home/deathch/public_html/wp-includes/default-filters.php on line 20

i’ve had to reinstall all the wp_includes files, as i couldn’t pinpoint the problem, though.. i must say, i’m extremely glad this had no effect on my blog in any way… or did it? theres a ‘3′ flashing next to the plugins tab o__O;;

anyways, i’ve been working on the wordpress design – which is purple/violet now btw (it  used to be creamy).. mum came by and tried to help also.. though she was really mostly impressed, as with any work i do on photoshop.. i just need to experiment more.. i’ve tried sketching out the layout.. but it has proved not useful. i need to somehow link the columns where the main text will go, without making it look nooby and scrappy – though its driving me crazy!!!!

oh btw, i’ve figured out why the loading time is epicly long: i haven’t optomized my website!!! how insanely silly.. but ok its done now, so hopefully its faster for you guys :]

anyways, theres much to be done, and i feel a little clusterphobic from sitting all day.. hopefully tomorrow i’d join the gym once and for all. then i’m going to the cinema with my little sister to watch ice age 3 (since i cannot find an english stream anywhere – lol forget i said that!!!) anyways, more quality time with my sister.. its what i need.

i passed my driving test with flying colours & i’ve got new glasses! <3