whats the point of life? why do we have to work hard? anything we earn to live is all lost when you die, so nothing really ever belongs to you. you cannot really claim anything to be truly yours. you study to get a good job, you strive everyday to work to get paid, to belong somewhere… but really – what guarantees your efforts to be awarded? is this life all for nothing? everything is a test, everything is a challenge, all your actions, all your efforts are what you make.. but for what purpose would you do this in this life? i feel like i’m losing faith.. in myself. nothing is ever going great, its just been one disappointment after another.
i sometimes find myself so annoyed with my current job, my current stress of whats to come it brings me down so much to the point of hating what i do. i don’t want to hurt people, i don’t want to feel this way, i don’t want this to constantly shadow me no matter where i go, what i do – its like having a huge weight pulling you down, constantly reminding you of whats to come, whats to be expected, and it keeps you stressed, and anxious with a broken smile. i’m not like this normally, i’m hating where all this stress is giving me, and i’m not enjoying the anxiety from this..
i’m now finding myself worrying about things which i havent worried about before, such as my weight, my friends, even my own family. i feel like i’ve been betrayed by so many people, broken up into little pieces that cannot be refitted again. i feel like i’ve got no one to talk to, all these things that keep bottling up inside, i keep pretending that i’m fine, i keep so many stuff inside… but the thing is.. i’m not fine. i’m not okay with whats going on. i’m not okay with whats to come. i’m not okay at all. this is just making me upset, i’m gonna stop here.
wish3r on July 25, 2009
dw death ( but u guess your name is Dania) , i’m sure things will get better :]
don ‘t lose faith, make life worth something, focus on what’s important to you (like your art and stuff) there’s always ups and downs, but you just have to keep going, never give up, keep fighting, because no one is gonna fight for you, take life and ride it like a horse
nice layout btw :]
hey on August 11, 2009
I used to feel like that. I read the book The Power Of Now. Then I started to detatch from everything. I was no longer my thoughts, I was not my body, I was not my emotions, I was not my work, accomplishments, or anything. Then I got to a point where I could just observe my current condition but not really take identity from it. Stress then just kind of went away.
Yami on August 13, 2009
I agree with hey. Just stop it all together, stop expecting, stop thinking, stop stressing, stop identifying. just stop. And be in the moment. This is the moment you have, it’s this moment and none other.
umm, sorry for commenting in your all posts. I find them interesting….
Yami´s last blog ..atlantic-illustration